As I lay in bed last night, I had a very simple, but very disheartening, and ultimately, unacceptable realization: since starting this blog, nothing has changed. This coming Saturday will mark 6 weeks until August 1, and although a close friend of Jason’s is a seamstress and has agreed to alter my dress last minute (if it even needs alterations) so I have more like 8 weeks until the actual wedding…nothing has really changed, and I am the only one to blame.
I am giving myself an ultimatum and putting it in writing here: I will weight myself on July 1, and if I weigh 160 pounds or more, I am going to just buy a new dress. F$%k it. I just need to bite the bullet and do something drastic to show myself that I can do SOMETHING. That is two weeks from today and I can tolerate just about ANYTHING for two weeks. I won’t weigh myself between now and then, but I am pretty confident that had I weighed in yesterday that I was around 165 pounds. Even the special K diet boasts a possibility of “6 pounds in 2 weeks” so there is no reason to think that this goal, while aggressive, is impossible.
My method will be controversial but I am just being honest: I just ordered the ingredients that I need to do the Master Cleanse. I am going to complete 10-14 days if it kills me. Then, July 1, am going back on Medifast- this will prevent any rebound weight gain, and hopefully I will be able to spend the 4 weeks leading up to my diet transitioning off Medifast back to regular eating, instead of frantically trying to lose more weight. I would rather undergo maximal discomfort for a minimal period of time, plus I am an extremist by nature. Just for the experience, I have shaved my head (which I ultimately regretted) got a tattoo (which I ultimately regretted) and now I will try the Master Cleanse. What the hell. If I don’t follow it I must not really want this. I know that if I reach my goal it will mean the world to me and any suffering that I endure for 2 weeks will be worth it.
Today I’m feeling a little sick still so not eating will not be a problem. I hope that no readers are disgusted with me or disappointed in me- the next two weeks will be a sort of science experiment into what results can be attained through pure panic and desperation. And hell, if Beyonce can do it, so can I. Keep reading for my July 1 weigh in and what I am sure will be a very interesting next two weeks!
